As I start to wake up, the first thing I am aware of is that
my dreadful, banging headache has gone and I breathe a sigh of immense relief.
That was a really bad one.
The second thing that I am aware of is that I am not alone
in my bedroom. As I open my eyes, I see a strange man standing at the foot of
my bed.
“Jesus Christ!” I exclaim involuntarily in my shock and no
small amount of terror.
The stranger laughs. “No, a common misconception but I am
Billy. Billy Grimm.” He walks around the bed, closer to me and I sit up
rapidly, trying to back away from him.
From downstairs, I can hear the television being played
quietly my husband keeping our two young children occupied whilst I am
indisposed again. It is then that I notice the still lump in my bed, bodily
shaped, and my unwelcome visitor can see the confusion rapidly appearing on my
face. He sits down on the bed next to me.
“Do you know why I am here?” He asks softly.
I shake my head rapidly, fear beginning to overtake my
rational thoughts.
He sighs. “You are dead, Alison. I am here to take you on
your final journey. You must come with me now. Quickly.” He holds out his hand for me to take but I
just laugh.
“Clearly I am still asleep and this is a dream. Or a
nightmare maybe.” I tell him. “You cannot die from a headache.”
He shakes his head sadly. “It was no ordinary headache. You
had a brain haemorrhage and the minute it popped, you were dead. You were
asleep so you felt nothing. It was peaceful for you as you have been good in
your life. There was no reason to make you suffer.”
I shake my head and move away from the form in the bed. The
form that, if what Billy Grimm is telling me is true, is my own lifeless body.
I had thought about death and dying but a few times but I had never thought it
would be like this so how could I possibly dream up events that I had not
conceived of?
I hear the lounge door creak open softly and my husband,
Neil, goes into the kitchen. He fills the kettle with water and gets the mugs
out, whistling as he does so. The children follow him in, quietly asking for a
drink of squash and a biscuit.
I stand up and face Billy Grimm, with his long dark hair and
sunglasses. “This is crazy!” I hiss through clenched teeth. “Whoever you claim
to be, this is just mad. I shall go downstairs and prove it!” I tell him
defiantly.
Billy stands there and shakes his head. “You are showing the
first classic signs of death – denial. It is much like grief.” He sighs theatrically. “Alison, in a few
minutes, Neil will be coming up here with a cup of tea to wake you up. He is
going to find you dead and it is going to be very distressing for both of you.
I would like to take you away from that before we get to that stage because
where we are going is not distressing or traumatic. It is calm and it is
peaceful and everything you would expect it to be. There are special places for
people to go and become acclimatised if they have had a violent death but we
like to avoid taking anyone there if we can help it. We want you to be happy.”
“Happy? Happy? If
any of what you are saying is true, how can I be happy about it? I have a
wonderful husband that I don’t want to leave and two small children that I can’t leave. They all need me and I
certainly need them. I need to see my children grow up.”
Downstairs, the kettle clicks off and I hear a spoon
rattling about in the mug.
Billy just stands there shaking his head. “I’m really sorry
but the decision when or how people come to us is not mine, but you are my
person today. Please Alison, come with me now, before it’s too late.” His voice
has taken on an air of pleading.
I shake my head, defying my dream, my imagination or
whatever else this may be as I am damn sure it is not reality.
I know Neil is on his way upstairs with my tea and the
children are with him, coming to wake mummy up. I need to stay, to see this
hallucination play out and prove to myself it is not real. Perhaps then I will
wake up.
“Hey baby.” Neil calls out softly as he opens the bedroom
door. I smile and reach out to touch him and let him know I am here but he
doesn’t see or feel me and heads for the bed. Neil puts the mug of steaming tea
down on the bedside cabinet and then gently tries to nudge me awake.
To my horror, my body does not respond and I start to think
that maybe Billy Grimm is my new reality. Neil’s shaking of me intensifies and
I see the alarm spreading on his face. He calls out to the kids to call for an
ambulance, something we both taught them from an early age, just in case, and
they both rush off downstairs to the phone in the hallway, knowing exactly what
to do.
Neil takes my head in his arms ad rocks me, calling my name
over and over again, imploring me to wake up.
“Do you want to go yet?” Billy Grimm’s gentle voice breaks
through to me.
I barely nod, totally distressed by the scene I am
witnessing and to what I am doing, albeit reluctantly, to the best husband in
the world. I take a step towards him and kiss the top of his head, already
realising that he won’t register the gesture and I turn to Billy.
“It’s not fair.” I mumble.
“No, it’s not.” He agrees softly. “It’s just the way it is.
Come on, let’s go to a better place.”
I take his hand and we are gone.
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